Ashton Nichols

(3 min. read)

When will you be happy?

When you get that job? When you find the right partner? When you surpass a million dollars? When you go on that year-long travel trip? When you retire?

Think about it for a minute. When will you feel satisfied with your life? When will you feel like you’ve won?

Imagine the feeling when you’ve reached the ultimate goal you set for yourself in your life. The feeling of ecstacy and satisfaction and celebration…

And then it’s over. Now what?

We tend not to think about our lives once we conquer our goals and how different things will be for us. 

After the feeling goes away, it is often followed by a massive depression. Actors who finally made it big turning to drugs, lottery winners going homeless a few years after they acquire their fortune, parents having mid-life crises and divorces after they finally make children.

I got what I wanted, but I still have 40 to 60 years of my life left, and I have no idea what to do now.

And then they repeat the cycle, chasing in futility the next objective of their life’s desires.

Many people think of life as a game where you play to win. They think if they don’t get that house, they don’t get that job, if they don’t get that car, then they’re going to “lose” the game.

But there are some who know that the game isn’t about winning. In fact, they know that the game has no end, and they can never “win” in the traditional sense.

Life is an infinite game, one that you can’t beat. To those with the mindset of trying to win the game, this is a massively depressing realization and thus why they feel lost and empty after achieving their lifelong goal.

The fully functioning, creative, happy, and self-actualizing people are the ones who understand that life is about playing the game to the best of their abilities and not necessarily trying to win it.

These people enjoy victories in achieving their goals, but don’t attach themselves to them. They enjoy life in the moment and are constantly in motion because when they choose to play the game how they want to play it, they feel most alive.

The happiest and most free people in this world are the ones who choose to struggle towards their goals on their terms. 

They realize that the ultimate way to be free is by choosing the burden they want to endure, not trying to escape from burdens.

Self-actualizing and fulfilled people realize that the work and the energy they give to the reality around them is the reward, and that giving is the true source of receiving happiness.

This doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the fruits of your labor, but you must no longer attach your well-being to them, and you must acknowledge that the feeling will pass.

Find pleasure in the toil of your everyday life, and smile when things get tough. Say to yourself:

This work does not bind me and I am not a slave to it. This work makes me more alive and free than anything else, because I choose to struggle for the life that I want, and the non-living have no freedom to choose their existence.