Ashton Nichols

(3 min. read)

While recently listening to Earl Nightingale, a radio speaker and author throughout the twentieth century, he said something that really resonated with me.

“The healthy person finds happiness in helping others. Thus, for him unselfishness is selfish.”

What a thing to consider.

Modern technology and cultural changes have moved the world towards a far more narcissistic and selfish direction.

Social media has made people value their online image more than their real-life image causing them to sacrifice relationships, personal resources, and their own true desires to whatever gives them the most clout.

Online dating makes it harder for people to pair-bond and stay in romantic relationships in the long term, which causes a cascade of problems such as resentment between genders and toxic behaviors.

A more secularized society has relieved a lot of social pressure to act and conduct ourselves in certain ways, which has been good in terms of self-expression but has destroyed many moral fabrics that used to unite us.

Our culture has shifted from the viewpoint of how am I of value to my community?, to how does my community benefit me?

I have been a culprit of this and I’m sure my situation is especially similar to most people in my generation (Gen Z).

In years past, I did things for myself at the expense of other people, and rarely contributed to the well-being of the world.

I did the minimum required of me in school, at jobs, and with friendships. 

I portrayed an image and personality of myself that was fake to everybody to seem higher status.

I only dressed well, ate well, and conducted myself appropriately only when it mattered to me, which was typically when I was chasing girls.

But was I truly happy and satisfied with my life?

Not at all.

My selfishness led to other problems as a consequence, such as insecurity, dependency on my social rank, laziness, poor health, foolishness, and even abuse of substances.

Something had to change.

How does one have a fulfilled life? I thought to myself.

One answer, which I didn’t find until after months and months of painful searching, was actually quite simple.

Contribute to the world. How?

Firstly, if you want to give your best to the world, you have to give the best to yourself.

I became obsessed with becoming wise, healthy, developing discipline, knowledge, finding what I loved, and learning to love myself.

I took pride in my appearance when I went out. I invested heavily in learning real-world skills and experience towards my career. I started doing the right thing even when no one was around because the best version of me would have.

Then I started giving to the people I cared about.

Gifts, doing them services without expectation of reciprocation, and reminding them that I love them very much and I’m very grateful for them.

Now, as 2024 rolls around, I am making it a mission to learn how to contribute to the world outside of my immediate circle.

How can I help the organizations I am a part of? How can I help my peers succeed with me? How can I give to my community? What can I build for this world?

Giving is the most selfishly unselfish thing you can do because nothing feels better than having contributed to humanity in a positive way. 

It is our purpose, obligation, and responsibility to each other as a species to make sure that we try our hardest to leave this reality better than when we entered it.